Your name is what?

Gone are the days of great NBA nicknames like Magic Johnson, Pistol Pete, & Kenny “The Jet” Smith. Now you have people running around with names like The Stache & Durantula. Now sadly, those aren’t the worst ones in the bunch. In fact, I’ve compiled a minor list of some of the worst nicknames in NBA history.

• The Black Mamba – You’ve got to be kidding me. I don’t think anyone actually realized Kobe Bryant had a nickname. And didn’t he give that to himself? I thought people weren’t allowed to give themselves nicknames & now we plaster that horrid moniker in commercials?
• The Big Fundamental – Tim Duncan.. Yeah.. To put it simply: a boring name for a boring player on a boring team.
• Big Baby – Glen Davis needs to go sit in the corner for this one. What 6’9, 290lbs, grown man walks around proudly and says his name is Big Baby? And to live up to his nickname, he goes and cries on the bench when Kevin Garnett yells at him during a game.
• Baby Jordon – Smh. Harold Minor.. They really just didn’t want you to succeed huh?
• Bad Porn – Damn. Warrior fans dubbed Corey Maggette with his nickname after his $50 million signing. “Sure, there’s penetration and scoring, but are you really happy with what you’re seeing?” LOL
• Stevie Franchise – When I think of Franchise players, Steve Francis does not come to mind. Is he even in the league anymore?
• Missionary Impossible/The Enormous Mormon – LMAO! Did you piss somebody off, Shawn Bradley?
• Buffet of Goodness – Really, Channing Frye? Smh. Sad thing is he gave it to himself during an interview when he was still a Blazer.

My Personal Favorites

1. Charles “The Round Mound of Rebound” Barkley lol.. or Sir Charles. I prefer the former =]
2. Dominique “The Human Highlight Film” Wilkins
3. Ron “the Straight Jacket” Artest – How fitting lol
4. Hakeem “The Dream” Olajuwon
5. David “The Admiral” Robinson

- April Rose