Yesterday.

Got to stop calling them “ex-Girlfriends & Ex-Boyfriends” disown them completely, consider them “Yesterdays” – Greg.

Wise words from a decent man. I haven’t put much thought into my “yesterdays” lately. Didn’t really have to nor want to. Well that was up until.. yesterday. My phone went off. “Hey whats up?” popped up on my screen with a name I wasn’t expecting at all. He’s texting me? Alright.. Nothing much. How have you been?

Chit chat about school & iPhones ensued. Cool. Whatever. I mean I did say I hope we can still be friends, didn’t I? And then he asks, “You wouldn’t wanna talk about what happened between us would you?” -sigh- Lawd.. must we? We can if you want..

He then proceeded to send me a lengthy message I wasn’t really expecting.. It started with, “Well I’m happy that you’re happy and moved on.. I truly am” but long story short, he wants me back. Now he and I have a history. The only person I can really say I was in a serious relationship with.. And he’s done this before. Hit me with the  ”I love you/miss you/you’re my soulmate” thing. Any other time, this would mess with my head. I would be with or dealing with someone and Yesterday would pop up in my present. Inner conflicts would arise and ultimately I’d go back to me.. and he.

This time around.. it’s not going to work. I read the message and I sat there in disbelief. I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t pressed to be back with him. I was angry. How can you sit there and tell me that you know I’m happy and that you know I’ve moved on… that you’re happy for me.. and then hit me with this?

No, this isn’t about my mister. Yes, I feel blessed to have him in my life, but this is about me. This about doing what makes me happy and what’s best for me. I did enough back peddling in my lifetime. It took me years to realize that I need to stop making decisions because I’m scared.. because I want to stick with what’s comfortable. Comfortable caused me years of heartache & insecurity. Running back to the “safe” choice wasn’t safe for my sanity.

So let’s think about this again.. I’m HAPPY. I’ve MOVED ON. I’m sorry, Yesterday. What we had was good, but that’s in the past. I’ve started to make decisions for me now and honestly, Yesterday, you won’t be in my future.