It may not be what you call perfect, but it's my life..

.. that times change and.. best friends become strangers. That’s how it is.

I’m a few weeks late, but happy new year’s, guys.

It’s 2010. I have new goals and a fresh outlook on life. Yeah, I know. Everyone says that when January 1st comes around. Resolutions galore.. People switching up their attitudes for all of 3-4 weeks. Same ish, different year.

2010 honestly feels different, though. I guess it’s because I’m at a turning point in my life. April 24th marks my 22nd birthday [yes, my mother named me after my birth month. Lazy ish lol]. I’ll be graduating in May and transferring to a 4 year university out of state. New Jersey will no longer be the place where I rest my head. Things just seem like they are changing drastically, but for the better.

And while most facets of my life are looking up, others seem somewhat dismal. I’ve been in the process of re-evaluating my relationships with people. I’m [trying to be] all about positivity and well, I have to cut the negative individuals out of my life. A lot of these friendships I once treasured aren’t the same anymore. I finally feel like I’m growing up, but with that comes the “growing apart” aspect of it.

There’s one person in particular that sticks out in my mind.. Probably because it’s the one that hurts the most. This girl.. She was something like my sister. I’ve known her the majority of my life. No one could tell me she wasn’t my ride or die.

And now? We don’t speak. Used to be phone calls at least every other day. I think the last time I spoke to her was over a text to wish her and her family a happy holiday. -looks at my calender- Well you can imagine how long ago that was..

What happened? Well long story short, a situation occurred. I didn’t condone it [after hearing all sides of the story that is]. She tried to get me to lie and pull me in the middle of all of it. I wasn’t having it. Selfish shit. I’m 21 and working on a degree. I don’t have time for nonsense.

So like I said before.. we don’t speak. I don’t really feel the urge to either. Did we grow apart? Maybe. Ish sucks, but it is what it is. No more stressing over bs. I’m not going to let that or situations like it bring me down.

It’s 2010 and I’m determined to reach the goals I’m setting for myself. If that means leaving people behind, so be it. I’ll put it like this.. If you aren’t holding me down, you’re holding me up. I try my best to hold my friends down. If you can’t reciprocate that.. nixed.

Guess that’s how it has to be sometimes.