Catharsis.

I started this blog in 2008 not knowing what I wanted to do with it. Could’ve been a music blog.. Could have been a sports one.. Maybe I would have turned into a hipster like everyone else on the internet.. Instead it has become my outlet.

A lot of people comment on how honest I am when I write. How they’d love to have a personal blog of their own, but they aren’t as open as I am.. Truthfully, I didn’t even think I was that open really. I just say what comes to mind, say what’s on my heart.. I guess you can say writing is my form of catharsis.

n. ca·thar·sis (kə-thär’sĭs)

1. A purifying or figurative cleansing of the emotions, especially pity and fear, described by Aristotle as an effect of tragic drama on its audience.
2. A release of emotional tension, as after an overwhelming experience, that restores or refreshes the spirit.
3. Psychology
a. A technique used to relieve tension and anxiety by bringing repressed feelings and fears to consciousness.
b. The therapeutic result of this process; abreaction.

I go through a lot of bullshit in my life. I have trust issues and a problem confiding in other people (see Day 7). All my fears and stress catch up with me and I feel like I’m going to lose it..

And then I pick up a pen and paper, or open my Macbook, maybe grab my phone.. I just write. It’s my therapy really.. Each (writing) session helps me to acknowledge my problems. Writing lets me get out all that’s on my mind without interrupting me, without judging me. It lets me try and make sense of all the jumbled thoughts running through my head. It helps me tap into all those emotions I didn’t even realize I felt. Maybe that’s why I cry so often when I write. I mean tears are cleansing aren’t they?

And my blog isn’t just for me. Yes, it’s the place where you all can watch me conquer my issues and grow from the everyday bs. I would hope, however, that you all are taking away something each time you read one of my entries. I hope that maybe seeing me go through these struggles somehow helps you with yours..

I started this blog two years ago not knowing what direction to take it, not even knowing what direction my life was going in. It’s 2010 now and I finally think I figured out both.